How to explain life to a table

Hello table - so how are you today? I think that the thought of explaining life to a table could be complicated. Yet the table cannot talk back so perhaps it will be easier than thought. I mean what does a table do anyway? It sits in the same place day after day. Sometimes people put things on it - or if it is having a bad day they may spill something on it ruining it's beautiful exterior. The table was born from a tree where it lived in the fresh air and felt the soft rain as well as the warmth of the sun. Now it has been formed into a table and cannot hear the birds or sway in the wind. How would I feel if someone took away the ability to feel nature from me? Not good I can tell you that. So is my table lonely? What about the furnature surrounding the table. Does the table feel inferior to the couch that gets a lot more attention? Perhaps it feels less attractive than the big dinner table that is newer and shinier. Does it hate it's water spots? Does it feel like everyone stares at it's chips and dings? The funny thing is that these are the things I love about my table - yet I resent my chips and dings. Perhaps my table likes those things about me. So if I could talk to me table (and it would hear me and talk back) I would tell it how beautiful it is and how much I appreciate it. I would let it know how much it means to me and my family and that I will make sure to open the window more often so it can feel the breeze and hear the birds again. I have a feeling my table would say the same thing back to me.